A Sonic The Hedgehog fan fic by someone who's never played Sonic The
by Wigzard
Summary: Hedgehog.


It was a typical Sunday morning for Sonic the hedgehog. Sunday was Sonic's favorite day of the week because Sunday sounds like Sonday, which almost sounds like Sonic.

Sonic woke up and zoomed out of his vibrating bed. (It's not what you're thinking, you naughty! Sonic's bed vibrates because he would die if he wasn't moving.) He grabbed his phone and dialed his friend Knuckles' number.

"RAAGH! THIS IS KNUCKLES THE ENCHILADA SPEAKING! I LOVE PUNCHING THINGS!"

"'Sup, Knuckles? It's Sonic. Wanna hang out?"

"RAAGH!"

"Sweet. I'm gonna run around the block and chase after rings first, but I'll be there in a flash!"

"RAAGH!"

Sonic hung up.

"Sheesh! Why is that guy always punching things?"

He got dressed, which doesn't take very long because apparently male hedgehogs only wear shoes and gloves. He tip-toed down the steps. He did not want to wake Tails the mutant, who would beg Sonic to play games with him. Nobody wants to play with Tails the mutant.

"Naah, fuck that. I just wanna chill with Knuckles and watch him punch things."

When the sun saw Sonic step outside his front door, it quickly put on shades. Even the sun can't keep up with how fast and hot Sonic was.

Just when Sonic had reached ultimate speed, a cruel and terrible voice caught him off gaurd.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, SUCKNIC?"

"Oh no!" Sonic exclaimed. "Not Shadow the hedgehog, the anti Sonic! They call him Shadow because he's from the shadow realm."

"Damn straight I am. I'm gonna bully you.

"Okay, just let me tie my shoes."

Sonic knelt down and whipped out his phone. He whispered, "Yo, Knuckles. Shadow's here to kick my ass. I'm gonna need some backup. Come down here quick! - OW GOD!"

Shadow punched Sonic's nose.

"Hey, you're not tying your shoes!"

"Yes I was! I just tied them so fast that you couldn't see it."

"Okay but look at this emerald."

In Shadow's hand was a beautiful and shiny emerald. It was so shiny that Sonic could see his reflection in it, which only made it even more beautiful.

Shadow asked, "Do you know why I keep this emerald with me?"

Sonic sighed. All he wanted to do was chase after those rings.

"No, Shadow. Why do you keep that stupid emerald?"

"This emerald contains the life energy of all my enemies. Breaking it would -"

Sonic slapped the emerald out of Shadow's hand. It shattered into pieces on the ground. Nothing happened.

"Oops!" Sonic laughed like a blue bastard.

"I-I," Shadow stammered, "I must have left the real emerald at home on my dresser. Either way, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, SONIC."

Shadow did a sick backflip and kicked Sonic in the face. Sonic ran around in circles until Shadow was too dizzy, then Sonic kicked him in his face too. They kept kicking each other in the face until Shadow remembered he had special powers that were given to him from the shadow realm. A dark and ominous aura omitted from Shadow's body.

Sonic tried to run away, but his shoelaces tied themselves together in the heat of the battle.

"Shit!"

"Ha ha ha," Shadow laughed. "I'm going to kill you and then you're going to die!"

A ball made of dark energy and power formed into Shadow's hand. He was about to display the most badass pitch of the century when a red creature came running up to him.

"RAAGH!"

Knuckles came just in time and punched the energy ball out of Shadow's hand, then he punched Shadow in the face. The energy ball landed on a suspicious van across the street.

"Oh no," said Knuckles.

The van set on fire, and nobody other than Doctor Robotnik/Eggman jumped out from driver's seat.

"Curse you, Sonic the hedgehog! You've ruined my career as a villain! I am nobody now! I was only able to afford this van because of my cameo in Wreck-It Ralph!"

"Man," said Sonic, "that guy can never catch a break!"

Everybody laughed, and Sonic and Shadow shook hands because they agreed that watching Robotnik/Eggman's van catch on fire was cooler than them fighting.

Just when you thought this terrible story was over, Amy the girl hedgehog arrived on the scene. She looked pissed.

"What the fuck, Sonic? Today's our twentieth anniversary! How could you forget?"

"I'm sorry Amy. You see, I was just about to chase rings so that I could give them to you as anniversary presents, but then this emo assclown showed up and wanted to beat me up. I'll B-R-B."

Sonic dashed off and came back with the rings. He put all of them on Amy's finger.

"Oh, Sonic!" she swooned. "You're so romantic and fast! I love you!"

"Hey, can I get one of those rings?" Shadow asked Sonic.

"Sorry, Shadow, but this is a canon story."

The end.


End file.
